Human, is a special and most talented creation that was created by God, and what makes them different from other creations are, they have brains and can use it, they have faith even whether they believe in it or not, and what makes them more special, they have something that differentiates them from other creations, which are humanity and feeling. Some humans can ignore the humanity and become very cruel, as cruel as evil. But still, they cannot avoid this little special gift - their feelings.
It's true, that no matter how hard you've tried, no matter how far you run from it, no matter how much power you have gained to dodge it, you still wont be able to vanish all of your feeling. Even for the strongest man, the most evil man, they do have this gift. If any of you have read history, maybe you have read and realize how love have change a man, and how it changes their attitudes, spirits, and their futures. These things all happened because of fate - god's will, and you cannot change the future that has been set up for you, unless it's God's willing. It is undeniable that human has the power to control their lives, it's proven so many times. But by God's willing, only by a small chance, or a small event, or better said, 'Fate', will bring a big impact to our lives, our future, and the same goes to me.
Once, I thought my life was empty, I had nothing much to do, just hanging around with my friends and spending most of my time playing games. I just had a very normal social life, I did have a lot of friends, but mostly, I did not spend most of my time with them, nor with my family, but mostly with my computer, playing games. Computer game was my ecstasy, and I was really addicted to it. As i can still remember, I have skipped some of my classes because i woke up late as i slept late at night, and it was all because of playing games. Worst still, I still remembered i had skipped some of my classes because I was not aware of the time. Not forgotten, my former rented house was just in front of the faculty, but still I was late for class. But it did not end here. The worst thing I did was, I had neglected my previous girlfriends just because of games. It may sound absurd, but it is true, I was like that before, I was not cruel but I was a bit heartless and unaware of my previous girlfriends' needs neither physical nor emotionally. But by fate, an unplanned incident has completely changed my life, and so did it change my attitude.
I still remember that moment very well, I was in part 3, and I still remember the date that we met - our first meet, it was on Sunday, 12th August 2007. We met at the chess tournament and we were both representing our faculty. It was an unplanned incident, I shouldn't be there and I wasn't the real representative for the faculty of education as I never went for the selection and chess trainings, and actually I never thought of representing my faculty. But I was selected as one of my friends, Rafae needed to go to UIA for educational matter, he was the one that asked me to replace him. Ironically, he called me at midnight, just a few hours before the chess competition and surprisingly, I agreed to replace him. It is unusual for anyone to agree at the eleventh hour, and same goes to me. But that night, it was different, something has driven me to accept it, and it was my instinct. It was very fortunate for me that I did agree or otherwise, I might not meet her and maybe I will never even know her for all my life. Here, I would like to dedicate my special thanks to Rafae, for providing me the chance, and of course, to God. That morning, it was the first time i met her, but she already gave me a strong impression, and i admitted that I was quite nervous during that time. Her eyes - they are so beautiful, just like the stars that shine through out the whole night, which provide us beauty and calmness, and same goes to her.
I still remember the moment very well, I always stared at her, and she did realize it. When she looked at me, i pretended that i looked through her, looking at a man behind her. I realized that she was watching me, and it freaked me out, I was nervous, it felt like my heart was leaping fast, jumping out of my body. But it was lucky enough for me when she turned away, otherwise I'm sure i will collapse. I've fallen for her eyes. I admitted it. Then the first round of the competition began.
During the first round of the game, I sat beside her. I cannot picture what was my real feeling at that time, it was hard to tell. During the first round, i played as the 2nd player of my group. I was very nervous, just by sitting beside her, it made me feel very uncomfortable, or maybe it can be precisely said, breathless as my heart sought for something; a contentment. If anyone can still remember that moment, they would realize that my face turned red. That time, I wish my face wasn't fair a that time so nobody would realize my face turning red. It was very unfortunate for me, I cannot focus on my game, my heart was trembling for something, how I managed to concentrate then? Then I took a peek at her. Luckily, she never realized it as she was focusing on her game and I didn't stop there, from now and then, I will take a peek at her when she didn't notice. She won the game. As for me, I lose my game, it was expected as I focused more on her than my opponent. But I never regretted, as my heart was about to win something more precious than that game. That was what I thought then.
After the first round, i was chosen to be the first player for my team, and I agreed. This was the right time for me to show my worthiness to my team and especially to her. I was glad that I won all the games after the first game, except one game that we had to agree to lose to one of our faculty group. As they were named Group A of faculty of education, we had to give them a win. They called it as a strategy, but for me that was the worst strategy because at the end, we were in higher rank compared to them.
I still remember how i managed to find a way to contact her. I told her that she was good in chess, but she lacked of strategy, and i offered her a chess game installer, it was "Kasparov Chessmate''. Lucky enough for me, she agreed. Then she gave me her email address, and so did i. After the chess tournament ended, i tried to find a way to get closer to her, and then came this brilliant and cunning idea. "Why don't you go home with her?''. Then i saw her went downstairs of the hall, where the chess competition was held, so i knew that she was about to go back home. Making a brave and cunning move, i talked to Amir, the student who was in charge of managing our team, and sighed, "Uhm.... Rafae is still in UIA, how can i go home?''. Lucky enough for me, he was baited, "Why don't you ask Afni, she lives at section 17 too.'' Amir told me. Then i quickly ran downstairs and searched for her. Lady luck still with me, she was sitting on the bench. Then i pretended walking slowly without looking at her.
"Eh,where are you going?'' Afni said. "Well. I'm going home. But i don't know how i can reach home. Rafae is still in UIA. Maybe i should wait for him till night or maybe just go home by bus. So how about you? Why are you still here? Not going home?'' the cunning side of me said. Then she replied, "Well, I'm waiting for my friend. Uhm, you don't have any transportation do you? Do you like to join me and my friend?''. That was the line that I've been waiting, and I was lucky enough that all my baits were working. Obviously, I've accepted her offer. So she called her friend and told her about me. Part 1 is clear, now I'm ready for part 2.
So we went home together with Syaza, her friend. Reaching home, i quickly went to my house and added her at my friendster, and put her at my featured friends, deleting some of my friends that I have known for years, it was just for her. Well, I admit I'm really in love with her, and I admit that I'm kind of a rushing and do-without-thinking man. Is there any man who puts a girl that he just met in his top featured friends? Well, maybe there is only selected few who does that, and one of them is me.
Then i sent her some comments and jokes, well, they were just to capture her attention and they worked quite well. Later i managed to get her YM id, and starting from that time, i started chatting with her on YM. So there it goes, good bye my online games. I was no longer online to play online game, but to chat with her (sorry buddies, i know that some of you miss me ;p).
One day, i still remember that date. It was Sunday, 19th August 2007, that evening, i gained my strength to tell her my true feelings. Well, as usual, i tried to make it not so obvious. What I was trying to say was, I was using indirect words. But this time, she didn't say what i wanted to hear. But she did manage to make me say those magnificent words, and then, I confessed to her. "I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?''. After saying those magnificent words, I did a very magnificently weird action. I pretended that I was on stealth mode, but I was not. So she scolded me and asked me to be a gentleman and be brave enough, but she didn't know that I was actually doing this because I wanted to know her real feeling. Lucky enough for me, she did confess that she liked me too, and she accepted me. So then, I quickly reappeared online. Then I told her the true story, about my feeling towards her, and when it all started.
Today is 19th August 2008. We have been a couple for 1 year and throughout the period, we have been through many obstacles together, from the third person and some people who are trying to separate us, to our personal problems and our dilemma. But in spite of making us hate each other, it has made us understand each other much better, and we are never alone in solving the problems, we are always together. Being together gives us the strength that we need. Each of us completes one another. The absence of one means a lot to us, just like a puzzle missing its pieces, even one piece plays an important role, it completes the puzzle.
"True love cannot be found, where it truly does not exist. Nor can it be hidden when it truly does. My feeling towards you is not a lie, it is a sacred feeling that i cannot keep, but to give it to you.''
"Meeting you is a bliss, befriending you is a gift, loving you is a treasure.''
I LOVE YOU MY LOVE
HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY MY DEAREST LADY
